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Ever the hopeless romantic...this is a poem I wrote a while ago and somehow it just seems to fit my mood so I am going to include it. It is not really about any person, it is about that imaginary one...the one that I so despirately need to believe is out there. I do believe it and it hurts. But don't worry...I am not in a sad mood, but rather a nostalgic, wistful, romantic mood. Introspective and all that...so anywho-here it is:

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So, what do you do if you’re in love?
Do you cry about love?
Do you beg on bended knee?
Do you scream on a crowded bus?
Do you pour yourself,
And him,
Into pursuit too much, too strong, too often?

Is that what you want?
Is it lust that you want?
Or do you just think he is the goal?
I can do, or be anything for him,
Except perfect or matching or any more.
I am not sure I want to be any less.

It is a long and splendid journey,
Or so I am told.
Is it worth it?
Will I like it?
What if I cannot let go?
Cannot release, renew, behold?
I want to be held.

I think too much,
Do too much,
Laugh too much,
Quit too much, for me, to love me.
Maybe that is what it is.
Maybe that is what I need to see,
Maybe he needs to see me.

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HE said he saw me...but he was drunk and denied it the next day. I will hold on to that though, even though HE is not worth my time, it feels nice to have been loved and held, even if it was only for a momment and even if it was followed by a not-so-nice experience. Hopefully I will have the courage to move on to new prospects, to let another man see me. The ultimate question is did he really see me? If he did then would he have said such horrible things afterwards? I will get over this. I will get over this. I will get over this. I am making a mountain from a molehill. I will get over this. I'm just having a momment. We are all allowed to have our momments right?