Talking about stuff...

One of my MSN conversations...Names changed (sort of) to protect the innocent...sorry about the crude jokes at the end...they made me laugh...funny 'cause its true :) Probably too much info for the faint at heart though :)


Pinky - Strength & Courage says:
I was having a lonely day myself. I miss you and "the gang"
Ct (insert cute saying here) says:
you know I realize that but it gets a little old fast and sometimes I just don't want to put up with that shit. He should have some restraint sometimes and maybe I show more tolerance. Well you can talk to me now have you met a few people in Bonnyville yet?
Pinky - Strength & Courage says:
Just the teachers at my school. So, the weekends are hard because they have stuff to do with their families or boyfriends/girlfriends then. Even if they did invite me out, I feel so overwhelmed by all the school work I would probably say no 'cause I have to work...then regret it later.
Pinky - Strength & Courage says:
I also am missing mom lots more lately. I've noticed myself getting teary eyed more often and I don't like it.
Ct (insert cute saying here) says:
that would be natural I might react in a similar way my mom and I are close.
Pinky - Strength & Courage says:
Yeah. So were my mom and I. I used to talk to her every day. I can call/email a lot of people, but I'm the kind of person who likes to put on a tough front and so when I want to talk about how sad I am I chicken out and just talk about all the good things. I think its good to focus on the positive but its also important to express my grief I think. I don't know. I don't want to dump all this
Pinky - Strength & Courage says:
on you
Ct (insert cute saying here) says:
thats fine I way not be able to say much but I can listen.
Pinky - Strength & Courage says:
Okay. Well like today, I spent the day at the school, I've been here since 10am and I don't feel like I've gotten anything major acomplished. I've worked on things but it is getting out of hand. I've got long range plans due this week that are starting to freak me out. The other grade two teachers had promised to help, but they don't seem to be able to commit to a time. I am at a seminar on
Pinky - Strength & Courage says:
Thursday and then I have the conference in Edmonton this weekend.
Pinky - Strength & Courage says:
That means sub plans and other crazy paper work to be done...I'm running out of time and all I can seem to think about is my mom.
Pinky - Strength & Courage says:
I'm sure that if I wasn't thinking about her so much, I would have gotten more work done...I just can't concentrate. I need a "forget about mom" pill to help me concentrate!
Ct (insert cute saying here) says:
it may take time don't be hard on yourself
Pinky - Strength & Courage says:
Well, we both know I'm terrible at that. I dunno. There are happy things happening for me right now. Professionally I am making great strides with the students and the other gr 2 teachers are even taking some of my ideas. Plus there's this conference this weekend, and that should be great. I don't want you to think I'm a big crybaby.
Ct (insert cute saying here) says:
your just being yourself that is all you can be good things are happening things will work out in the end they always do
Pinky - Strength & Courage says:
lol...sorry...that sounded cheesy...but it is true. How did you get so smart?
Ct (insert cute saying here) says:
it is not smarts it is experience of life. I have gone through tough times before but I have always managed to move ahead.
Ct (insert cute saying here) says:
and be the better for it
Pinky - Strength & Courage says:
I suppose. And I do know I will only be stronger for having surrived this. After all, I am stronger just for the fact that I made the choice to continue my committment in Bonnyville.
Pinky - Strength & Courage says:
Did I tell you my sister got ahold of my brother finally?
Ct (insert cute saying here) says:
no how did that go
Pinky - Strength & Courage says:
Well...
Pinky - Strength & Courage says:
He says he's sorry he wasn't here...and he says he's considering moving out to N. Alberta. He says he's going to fax a resume to sister to help him get work. My experience says that is pretty much bunk. I don't think he'll follow through on any of that. I think though, that sister wants to tell him he can live at Dad's place. I don't know if she has told Dad that yet.
Ct (insert cute saying here) says:
you know your brother might not talk to you guys much but I am sure that he does care.
Pinky - Strength & Courage says:
lol...you haven't met him. He talks to sister. I have only talked to him once in going on 13 years. And from what mom said he was like the last time she saw him, I don't want to talk to him. I don't like what he did to my parents and it really hurt my Dad bad when he left the last time...I don't want him to hurt Dad again.
Pinky - Strength & Courage says:
My brother is the kind of guy who stood over my mother's bed while she was sleeping with a knife.
Ct (insert cute saying here) says:
I like to think that all of man has the capacity to be good even if evil does seem to the apperance.
Pinky - Strength & Courage says:
I agree. And if I could go back in time, and do some of the work with him that I have been trained to do with children now, I would like to think that he would have turned out differently. I am willing to imagine that he has changed, but he has to show me he has changed with his actions. He knows (because I know Dad and sister have told him) that if he wants to come out here all he has to do is say the word and Dad would get him a plane ticket or even drive out and get him. There is no question there...He hasn't acted on it. I know it would be hard...but he's got to step up to get my support.
Ct (insert cute saying here) says:
it is all about self recognition your brother can only do that for himself.
Pinky - Strength & Courage says:
You betcha. I just don't know that right now is exactly the right time to bring him back to Peace River. That's just my opinion and a choice that my Dad will have to decide for himself. I will be civil to him should he step up, but I won't be begging him to come.
Ct (insert cute saying here) says:
and as you should
Pinky - Strength & Courage says:
I know, and it is also what mom probably would have wanted. She is the voice in my head.
Ct (insert cute saying here) says:
it is good to remember people close to as they were it helps gives us strength to move on in this sometimes cruel world
Pinky - Strength & Courage says:
for sure. So on a less bitter/depressing topic, (or maybe not??) How is rez treating you? Still enjoying the frat house/
Pinky - Strength & Courage says:
?
BORING BANTER DELETED...

Pinky - Strength & Courage says:
That is true. And if its just the weekends you are laughing. If you ever need to actually get sleep on the weekends I'd ask R if you could crash on his couch...its pretty comfy.
Ct (insert cute saying here) says:
that is one thing R and I do have in common we are both heavy sleepers. The roommates were probably loud until five and it didn't wake me up before that
Pinky - Strength & Courage says:
lol...you weren't a heavy sleeper when I was over...'course we didn't do much sleeping Sorry...I had to make the joke.
Ct (insert cute saying here) says:
no I aways had a bad habbit of waking up a 4
Pinky - Strength & Courage says:
lol...you sure did. Ah, good times. Seriously though, I guess you can handle frat boys. Plus like you say, its only a few more months, actually only like 11 more weekendsish.
Ct (insert cute saying here) says:
yeah 11 weeks will be fine then I don't have to live with man childs anymore
Pinky - Strength & Courage says:
lol...that is an accurate description I'd imagine. Any thoughts on what you're gonna do in January, or like me are you clueless in that area?