BC has a lot to offer...cute cops, cute medics...

Yeah. So I'm back from BC. I actually had a good time for the most part. I saw a lot of things I haven't seen before...including witnessing an assult. That wasn't fun. I don't really want to write about it, in the interest of keeping some things private. The fun stuff though, was driving through the mountains and taking in the incredible scenery. I went in this awesome lake near B's house and met her group of kids from her work. I got to hang out with my best friend and meet her family. It was great. I have lots of incredible pictures and I'm hoping to try and post a couple on this site so y'all can see some of the beauty of where I was. On the way back I decided last minute to stay at my sisters in Edmonton and it was Klondike days on so en route through Jasper Park I called up Ct and MG to see if they wanted to take in some of the festivities but Ct wasn't home and MG had classes the next morning. Oh well, I went and met up with my sister. I rode the ferris wheel which is something I've never had the balls to do before, but I figured that if I could drive my car up some crazy-ass mountains I can sit in a machine and go around in a ciricle or two. I was right. I was fine and it was fun. Then we went on this other cool ride, I think my sister called it the "Gravitron" the idea is that you stand in this room that spins with some funky lights and the center of gravity moves so you can actually be raised off the floor. It was pretty neat. Since I got in so late, we had to go at this point 'cause the park closed at 1 am and we still had to walk to my car. I slept in the next morning which sucks 'cause Ct called twice and I missed his calls. I figured he was working so I decided not to call him back 'till later. I left town and head back to PR becuase I had to work at the museum today. Just past Slave Lake, I hear the tune to Funky Town (my phone was ringing)...and its Ct. He's disapointed 'cause he thought that I was on my way to BC not coming home from BC and he wanted to go for coffee. We chatted for over 15 minutes and part way through he sighed and said "Its so great talking to you, its been too long." Well Holy SH$$. We talked less than 2 weeks ago and since we're not dating anymore I'd say thats not bad. So I don't know what to think. When he called me on his birthday all he could talk about was that we should get together and go to the fringe. Now he's sad 'cause we don't talk enough. I'm beginning to get the idea that he really wants to see me. The question of the week is, do I want to see him? I DON"T KNOW!! Actually I'm quite torn. I mean, I still have some really strong feelings towards him. And I'd love to see him. But it seems as though fate has other ideas as our last 3 planned encounters have fallen through. Is fate trying to say no? Or just "not yet" or what?? Plus, even all of this doesn't change the bottom line factor that says we don't know when we'll ever live in the same city - and is he ready for a serious relationship? I'm still not ready to give up on my teaching career, and that means that I'll be in Bonnyville or Cold Lake for the next little while, although I think BC is so pretty that I kinda want to live there now....which is where he wants to live.............aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Breaking Up is Hard to Do...

...continued...

So, its nearing the end of June, I'm finnishing up my courses, papers etc. I run into HIM in the hallway (to find out more about HIM...travel back to my November entries). Now HE and I are getting along fine, as often as we see each other. HE has a new girlfriend, who seems quite nice and of course at this time I have Ct. Cool. So HE is moving in with his new girlfriend and moving out of Rez. Good. HE needs that growing up. Anyway, he suggests that before he goes, and I move back to PR that we have one last night of Tequilla and Crib. Okay, that sounds like fun. Ct already said it would be cool for me to hang out with HIM 'cause HE was the only person left on campus that I knew. So, we set the date for Friday, June 17. HE comes over, and we start playing crib, and drinking and "shooting the shit." HE didn't bring his girlfriend so we were free to discuss THAT NIGHT and since I am totally over it by now, and so is HE, we laugh about it and move on. We talk about our new boyfriend/girlfriend and the good and the bad, and then the phone rings. HE has only been here for about 15 - 20 minutes. I'm like "Who is calling me? I am not expecting any calls!" HE is like "It's probably your boyfriend" and I'm like (jokingly and yet not) "No, 'cause he never calls." Well. It was him. And he sounded upset. He starts getting upset that HE is there. I'm like "uh uh, you said that was cool." anyway...he's all "I can't be in a serious relationship at this time in my life." and I'm like "well, I can't be in a relationship that isn't serious." He's still all pissed that HE is there so, HE leaves the room. We conclude the conversation, I go out into the hallway to get HIM and announce "Well, I'm single again!" And then we drank a lot. HE started puking. So HE calls up HIS girlfriend and goes home. I then proceed to make a very drunk phone call to my mother.

That evening I was all "I'm glad we broke up...it just makes sense you know...its kind of a relief." I even said I felt guilty for not being more upset. Then, Saturday I stayed in bed all day. Tequilla will do that. Sunday was hard. I cried a lot...a lot a lot...and then I was stupid and called Ct. We agreed we'd still be friends because it seemed stupid to give up on our friendship after all this time just because we were geographically separated and no longer romantically involved. He agreed. Thank God. I would not be able to handle it if we weren't friends. It seems to be working too.

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So on other notes, to catch you up with my life:

I worked hard and got a job teaching grade two in the fall...temporary position, but I'll get my foot in the door if I can figure out how to teach grade two without squishing them

I went to my cousins wedding, which Ct was supposed to come to, before we broke up. I was misserable without him and simply reminded of the fact that I won't be planning a wedding any time soon.

I miss my roommates terribly...we had such great conversations. I saw the movie "Kinsey" and though that if we had watched it together we wouldn't have slept for weeks 'cause we'd be discussing and analysing it. I hear from M every once in a while, sounds like she's doing great. Her and J are making the long distance thing work. That is so cool.

I'm working at the Museum again this summer. Its giving me enough of a nest egg to get myself established for my new teaching job.

I'm actually going to make my BC trip. I have convinced my parents and they're giving me some money to help fund it as a graduation gift. I am so excited about this trip I just don't know what to say.

Today is Harry Potter Day...I've got my new book but can't read it until after work...OMG

I bought a cell phone. That's right, I've been avoiding the silly things for years but its time, I'm gonna use it instead of a land line at least until I have a more permanent teaching position.

I guess thats all...certainly enough. I bet you didn't read all of it. Thats okay. Just so you know, I'm smiling, happy and excited...but I sure miss my friends.

Its been a while eh?

Alright. Sorry. I haven't written. Forever. Deal with it. I guess I should catch you up. Practicum went well. Ended April 29. Cried on the 30th. More details about the 30th coming up. I experienced much success in my practicum and I am confident I will make a great teacher. I'll have to continue blogging to keep you posted on my new teaching position. I will be teaching grade two. More about that in a minute. Okay, so I finnished my practicum, and did well. The last two weeks of practicum were a bit harry as my grandmother passed away and my mother was in the hospital, very ill. So that's going on, I finish my practicum, on the 30th of April, I lose my roommates who have become my best friends, my boyfriend moved back to his hometown, my grandma has just died and my mom is in intensive care PLUS, I miss my students- I go to work at Staples and then send me home 'cause I keep bursting into tears. Up to that point I had managed to just persivere and not think about everyone leaving me...but standing at my till it all hit me hard. Now I'm sure you're thinking "Come on Pinky, SUCK IT UP!" Okay, you're right. I spend May and June moping and sulking around my new apartment (oh yeah, I had to move during all this too.) Anyway, its July and I'm feeling better but I still miss everyone.

In the beginning of May I went to Ct's cousin's wedding. It was awesome, I met a lot of his family (I was even included in their family picture!) After that weekend though, things started to fade. In fact I believe the phrase I've used before is that "it all started going in the crapper." We talked on the phone...sometimes...email...sometimes...I felt like I was doing most of the contacting though. I went through some personal health issues at this time, that I would have liked to share with him, but I didn't want to on the phone. I knew there was a problem for sure when I stayed at his house at the end of May and we were cuddling and I wispered "Can I keep You?" and his response was "You can hold me for a while." He didn't mean to hurt me by it, but the fact is, he used to say "You can keep me." Anyway, we pretended for a couple more weeks...he kept saying he'd come visit, and then things would come up. .....to be continued....